Stepping away from toxic relationships can be one of the most difficult things you may have to do while you’re on this self-love journey, but it can also be one the most important.
My relationship with my mother had been a volatile one as far back as I can remember. I tried over and over again setting boundaries with her, but she made it very clear that she didn’t respect me nor my boundaries.
It came to point that I finally had to tell her that if she stepped on my boundaries one more time that I would not be able to communicate with her anymore. She said to me, “That’s fine because I’m not going to change.”
My heart was broken, but I knew I had to stand by my decision because I would not tolerate her abuse any longer.
Afterward, I tried talking with her a couple of times and she still refused to accept my boundaries so for two years we didn’t speak. When I got a call that she was passing away, I went to her bedside. I told her I loved her and forgave her and I asked her to forgive me for anything I had said or done to offend her. She wasn’t completely coherent, but she understood and told me she loved me too.
I had long prepared myself for this day and yet it was so emotionally draining, I felt like my heart would burst. After she passed, I spent several days in seclusion in order to process all my emotions. I even wrote down all the things that I was grateful for regarding my mother and it was very therapeutic.
Setting those boundaries, even though they were heartbreaking, helped to separate myself from the abuse so that I was able to have a clear mind and start my journey toward healing.
Say you cut yourself with a knife and as the injury begins to heal, you are constantly picking at the scab, it takes the injury much longer to heal, can cause infection, and the more you pick the scab the worse the scar it leaves. As long as we allow the abuse to continue, the longer it takes to heal and the bigger the scar it leaves.
Releasing toxic family members has been one of the toughest steps I’ve had to take on my self-love journey, but it’s also been one of the greatest because it gave me more confidence and space to truly see and embrace my value and worth.
If you want true healing and transformation, you have to make some tough decisions by setting boundaries and be confident in those decisions. I guarantee you won’t regret it.